Tuesday, November 23, 2010

KISS AUNT SUE


KISS AUNT SUE




The Sax Man and his Lady
acrylic paint on canvas by Robert Margetts


Now I know I’m just a kid
and with time I’ll grow and mature
but kissing aunt sue is like
stepping into cow manure.

Her lips are caked with lipstick
and drool drains down her chin
and her bad breath is listed under
the eleventh commandment as a deadly sin.

Lips as powerful as suction cups
and the strong scent of Old Spice as advertised on T.V.
I think I’m being kissed by Captain Bligh
from Mutiny On The Bounty.

I beg her to stop
but she will not desist
and when her razor stubble rubs me raw
that’s when I really start to resist..


Now it’s not the hair lip or the bad breath
that really gets my stomach churning
it’s when her denture Poly-Grip leaks
onto my face and starts burning.

I’ve tried every remedy known to man
from silver bullets, to garlic, to a skillet pan.
Treaties, extortion, promises and an exorcism
will not pacify the witch.
Next time she shoves her snout close to my face
I’ll grab the shovel and bury the bitch.

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