HOMADE PERFUME FOR MOMMY
Don’t have much money so
I’ll start from scratch
Grab the scissors and pick
open the kitchen latch
Can’t keep it locked or
asking for permission,
I’m a 7 year old chemist
determined to complete his mission
Just under the sink and
near the drain
Scents and fragrances to
tantalize my little brain.
Blues and yellows, purples
and reds
Bottles with triggers and plastic
heads.
Open containers filled with
Brillo pads for cleaning pans
Bug sprays and shoe polish
in unmarked cans.
I start with the blue Windex for that
great shine
Just two tablespoons or
perhaps nine
Mix some green Drano for that
ageless soft skin
Shake it, roll it and make
it spin
3 tablespoons of Pine-Sol
should enhance the flavor
A tonic so sweet your
mortician would savor
Just needs some color, some
red or some white
So I reach deep into the
cupboard and turn on the light.
In the back corner I grab
the bleach and begin to pour
Count from one to two to three and to four
The perfume nearing
perfection
Still needing that one
special ingredient to add to my collection
And then I spot some Viagra next to a
can of Lard
Might as well add some blue to make
it nice and hard.
Odd that I would find this
expired bottle under the sink
Because Daddy always hides
it in weird places as it turns his face a bright shinny pink.
The final elusive scent
just sitting in plain view
Sodium hydroxide, Boric
Acid or some modeling glue?
Nah, not this time, those
ingredients can wait
I need a pinch of Clorox to
make this perfume great
The end is near, the elixir
almost done
Bottle it, cork it and
watch the fun.
It burps and gasps, foams
and shakes
Slushes around and congeals
like a butter cake
Oh the color and that
smell so defined
Like a gifted sommelier
inspecting my great wine
Tis the gift for mother
this Christmas year
Not a finer batch of
perfume cheer.
